a stupid man's life

today hardly got the strength to wake up,had a goooood night sleep though.Shall chat about today's event tomorrow.

After i came back from baoc outing,saw mom watching princess hours,so sat and watch too.Its the part where the princess got scolding from the king and queen for flirting out so late with the prince lu.

Got a scene prince lu spoke to her mom saying that he wont give up jio-ing the princess no matter what,cuz she brought great joy and laughter into his life,and he doesn know what will happen if she disappears.

This suddenly reminds me of someone,who had a sorta brief flirtation in my life and left eruptly.She didn make really very much of a impact,but i guess she's quite a special 1.

Eyecandies are everywhere,but i guess she's the only 1 who i really got in touch with.U know im shy and that sometimes i don't think i will qualify as a guy if theres some stupid test to test your sexuality.Though we don't know each other,she likes to disturb me in camp and u all know the reason why.

I cant even sleep with her beside me,like how i cant sleep with Regina sleeping beside me during baoc overnight stay,like omg its so different sleeping next to a girl.

DUring camp we didn talk much,im jus such a boring guy.But after the camp i manage to get her hp no. from a tattered list and just sms her,this insignificant moment looks to have such a impact when you look back.We chatted on phone for a few nights then sms a bit but lost touch for a few days cuz she's working and maybe i thought she dao me a bit cuz she after a few sms didn reply already.

Then after that had some misunderstanding,thought she had a bf so thought she was just having fun with me,i didn know why i felt so stupid,but i did.Maybe im too innocent?Or just being such a stupid guy who judge someone so simply like most people do.My impression of her ruin and i didn contact her since.

After dunno since,we got in contact again,tis time she really has a bf but occasionally when we see each other we will stil sneak up and greet each other,she says the relationship with her bf is a long story,well i didn ask much.

Well it happens that she had a caring bf who accompanies her to exercise everyday/lived near by/gave her joy and laughter that i couldn,they went further while i stood behind.Until now i stil feel quite bad like im a 3rd party or something.

Well i dunno why im writing this..but yea i felt that she made a impact on the romance part of life in poly,probably the biggest 1 since poly is so boring.My fault for being who im,lucky it was just this far and i didn like get idiotic and try to make a fool of myself.

But i really thank her for being who she is and gave me a pleasant memory that someone actually connects with me even if it is for a short period of time,though it may be some superficial liking,but who knows?I dun seriously know what to say in case she or any1 related saw this,but i just wanna let it out.

I hope i left a good impression for her that she still remember the shy,blur-looking guy that stutters or cant enunciate words properly,who cant let his emotions and expressions flow freely.....the guy who she really thinks is the one..i don't really care what others say but she's really is a nice girl and i dunno how i feel about her after so long now,but im definately looking forward to life and for someone as unique as her to make a larger impact in my life.Can I?

let my guitar cry baby,lets cry,lets cry,get emotional jus like animals do.Weep in the dark,play in the mud,watch as the sun falls into the deep sea.LEt the naked senses touch each other like they never once did,fall asleep under the charming spell of the melody.Look away if you must,don't say a word if you cant,just remember someone is always beside you,there breathing under your neck,into your ears whispering sweet nothings.Remember the loved and the unloved,love them like you never ever,laugh as you never did,smile till your face bulge,live for the day and stay uncertain,for life makes wonders in time..

love,jy,the words on the spot from a living man himself,a man whose not what he thinks,not what other thinks..if theres a god,he may know,may be..